Abstract Diner Gifts

Theories expounded

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"For drinks or dinner?"

Dali Chooses a Lobster

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

'The customer is always right...'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

"Fresh pepper?"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

'You made me jump,'

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."