Fantasy Diner Gifts

'It probably wasn't a good idea to ask for seperate cheques.'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"For drinks or dinner?"

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Zagat Rated.

"The usual."

"Fresh pepper?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

'I'm sorry the cod was not as good as when you came a month ago. It should have been - it was the same fish...'

"It's made with real angel hair."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'I'm not very hungry after eating my first quarter losses.'

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

"Freshly ground Ozempic?"

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

Waiter: 'Here you are ma'am.Your Walled-off salad.' a waiter serving a woman a Waldorf salad surrounded by a brick wall

The wine speaks for itself

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"It lights up and vibrates when your judgement's ready."

"Yes sir, this is half a steak. The guest who had it yesterday wasn't very hungry."

'The chef says that the quail was out but he prepared that little critter he ran over on the motorway which tastes similar and you nouveau riche snobs will never notice the difference anyway.'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Last night I dreamt I was in a fancy french restaurant and everyone was very glad to see me."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"I hear the sparrow-goldfish chowder is to die for...at least once."