Welfare Commentator Gifts

"I should like a commission on that child tax credit."

Spot the difference.

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"The government is adamant that a policy of removing income support from lone parents with children over 7 is in the best interests of the treasury."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

Profits for Big Pharma

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

Food Stamp Nation

"It's a newstart rescue canoe ."

'The rich should be rewarded for being rich, and NOT pay taxes! Zero taxes!!

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

Federally Guidelined

"So we'll lead on the cost of living crisis, three pages on the collapse of the NHS and four on climate warning followed by that investigation into the rise in depression."

Quarantine: The great equalizer

"It's not a spike in crime, it's a spike in REPORTING crime that was there all along. So... that's better, right?"

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

"Hi, I'm on the scrounge"

"You can't argue with success."

"Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need."

'Wow, this is the same model we have in school.'

'He was a grateful man...just not in a good way.'

'I work hard all day, while you just sit there.' 'That's the politics of envy.'

From the Greenhouse to the White House....

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"

"Football? What makes you think it's a magazine about football?"

Roue FatiguePlease Help.

IVF Slut

'Let's see if you qualify for a handout. How many nuts do you have currently, and where are they buried?'

Fire/Dental Insurance Policy - "If your teeth ever go up in flames you'll be completely covered."