Witty Welfare Warrior Gifts

'I suppose you realise this means we'll lose our disability allowance.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Denmark: Begging is against the law!

"I'm listing my deadlines by due date so I can miss them in chronological order."

Social security.

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

Captain Thomas Coram.

Knights of the iPhone

"We seem to be the only animals here."

'Congratulations, Henderson -- I'm promoting you from henchman to crony.'

'...Or, in layman's terms, Ay caramba!'

"No, you can't borrow my pen."

'Let's just hope it's not a trend of some sort.'

"I thought I'd done everything to get a decent pension..."

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

"I'm suing my scales manufacturer for slander!"

"I should like a commission on that child tax credit."

Social Services held back by risk, unrealistic targets and budget cuts.

'Did you order the new sign?'

TV: 'It's 10 pm- do you know where your social security funding is tonight?'

'What have you got on how to apply for Government handouts?'

Do you have anyone whose bark is worse than their bite?

"Work harder. People on state benefits depend on you."

Please Help: Tory minister who claimed he could live on £53 a week.

'Baby inhaling second-hand cigarette smoke on board,'

A Man Recieving His Wages.

STRIP Hambone: Standing in the dole computer