Witty Wellness Warrior Gifts

"I'm suing my scales manufacturer for slander!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'