Wedding Worries Warrior Gifts

"The wedding went off without a hitch."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"OK, now what?"

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Take your mother for example. She's not much to look at, but she's darn handy with the cookware."

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

Bridezilla

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Just Married

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

"I'll get back to you, I'm at a fairly important meeting"

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

Second marriage vows.

'If that aquarium is supposed to help me relax, it's not really working.'

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

"That drives me crazy!"

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."

'She misses me alright-she's a lousy shot!'

I love you, Morty, and I do want to get married. I'm just a little worried. What if I feel trapped? What if we fight, or one of us changes, or aliens attack? Aliens? And there's only enough canned food for one of us! Holy commitment phobia.