Wedding Day Warriors Gifts

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"Take your mother for example. She's not much to look at, but she's darn handy with the cookware."

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

A spider meal prepping

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

"It's thrilling to watch them come out in the morning, ready for the kill!"

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

Bride getting ready for her wedding.

Party Scene

"I like Monday mornings...and Friday afternoons. But all that in-between stuff bums me out."

' Oh God ! not Friday again ! what happened to Saturday...Sunday...Monday...Tuesday....? '

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Just Married

"I never have a good excuse to be late: The teacher knows my dad wakes me up at dawn..."

"The wedding went off without a hitch."

Bridezilla

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'...and despite DNA predictions of incompatibility...'

"Oops!"

Speed Dating

Woman emulating 'The Scream' painting when a black sock is found in the whites only washing.

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"Nothing ruins a Friday more than waking up and realizing it's only Thursday."

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'