Wedding Worries Warrior Pillows

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"OK, now what?"

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"It isn't always all about you, Cindy."

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"What do you mean 'no way'?"

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

Just Married

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Bridezilla

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

"I'll get back to you, I'm at a fairly important meeting"

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

'What will it cost me for you to elope?'

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

Second marriage vows.

'If that aquarium is supposed to help me relax, it's not really working.'

Groom climbing up a cake to get to his wife.

"That drives me crazy!"

"My husband's ill, so I'm standing in for him."

'Our computer system crashed last night, following a high-speed chase by area police. It's currently lodged in the county jail. That's all I have right now!'

'She misses me alright-she's a lousy shot!'