Wedded Bliss Warrior Pillows

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'Don't worry too much about it dear, just say I do and we can get on with the honeymoon.'

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'Jenkins came back from his vacation a little too decompressed.'

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

Just Married

Bridezilla

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

'And this is Ziggy, our stress management consultant...'

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"I get uncomfortable around comfort food."

'No, you can't speak to my husband. He's sitting on the naughty step.'

"Cheer up. You're not as nutty as most of the whack-jobs I see."

"I want my work to be challenging, but not so challenging that it destroys my life, family and relationships."

"To the nearest barbershop, John."

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'