Wedding Night Warriors Pillows

"Our wedding night was a disaster."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

The modern generation!

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

A Successful Wedding Party Returns From the Hunt

"Dunhomin"

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

"Take your mother for example. She's not much to look at, but she's darn handy with the cookware."

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

"Not on my watch..."

Bridezilla

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"Yeah, it's a drag, but the only flight I could get was a red-eye."

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"The wedding went off without a hitch."

Just Married

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'

Bob takes care of this monster-under-the-bed business once and for all.

'Can you leave the light on? It's hard to sleep with the dark shining in my eyes.'

"The only thing we seem to agree on lately is that we always disagree."

"Daddy, I know you gave me away, but can you take me back?"

Two hearts arguing.

"I now declare a thumb war."

Number of times your kids will wake in the night/Amount you have to do tomorrow

'What - are you deaf? He said, ‘I do.' Let's move it along.'

'Yes! I can tell you why these two shouldn't be married. They stole those outfits from my formal wear store!'