Wealth Guardian Gifts

"I lobby for rich people."

"Your money is perfectly fine, you can go to sleep now."

'It's bad news Gents. This time next year we shall all be only millionaires.'

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

Old father making will and leaving his son property in trust

'Not only can we show you how to make money on your investments, we can show you how to keep more of what you make.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Watering Money

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Stock market investment advice

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Flat tax - equal burden?

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'