Investment Guardian Gifts

Any safety features?

The Jeopardy of Progress

Jack of all trades

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Politically Correct Snowperson

Will work for ETFs

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Invest in technology."

Just Stop Boil

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Evolution.

Earth stove

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

There is No Planet C

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I think we have run out of time..."