Financial Guardian Gifts

C.E.O.s deserve respect.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The economy.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

E.U. Banking Union.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Just Stop Boil

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."