Water Skeptics Gifts

'She hates getting her feet wet.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

'Tap water?! As if.'

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

Carbon capture and storage

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

"As part of the new environmental policy management want us to introduce a paperless office, and this is how they want us to do it."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

Jesse Helms - US Senator.

'This is the first hydrochloric factory to run on wind power'

"I told you not to give them a bath in hot water!"

'America uses 20 million barrels of oil a day. Our profits are up, but is it sustainable? Will consumers run out of money?'

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

Texas - Home of Organic Free-Range Gas!

'If I'm not mistaken, Mayfield is a sewage treatment plant.'

Armstrong, I was wondering something. Go on. Our electricity keeps going out. You said the rolling blackouts are caused by overuse of air conditioning to deal with the heat. But summer is long over. The heat waves are gone. Might somebody be using global warming as an excuse to keep the power off and save money? I was framed.

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"

"Hmm...I don't like it - it's too quiet..."

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."