Water Worriers Gifts

"God, if you get me back to shore, I'll give you everything I own. Okay, fifty percent of everything. How about ten percent plus community work..."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

I hate monday mornings.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

"I'm addicted to water."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

Weather reporter feels guilty every time it rains.

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

Thanks for the worm, but I almost got this stupid hook stuck in my mouth.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

When the water's colder than you thought...

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"Hurry up and pick that lock. I'm hungry and it's freezing out here."

"With rain in nearly every forecast, probably because of global warming, you know what's coming...so officially, we are now News & Sports at Six."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

'They must be trash fish!'

"Mom! Is Santa's Naughty or Nice list in effect over summer vacation?"

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'