Bottled Water Skeptic Gifts

'If I'm not mistaken, Mayfield is a sewage treatment plant.'

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"I'm addicted to water."

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

Make your own bottled water.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Tap water?! As if.'

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

Carbon capture and storage

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

Man imagines his pregnant partner as an impossible bottle.

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

"Martha and Lee are going to be doing our environmental hand-wringing."

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"I told you not to give them a bath in hot water!"

The Source of all water

''Earn our bread by the sweat of our brow'? -- is that sanitary?'

'He doesn't use drinking fountains. He can't swim.'

Faux Help

5-hour Lethargy.

Soda! So many useless calories! Oh? You're wondering why I'm still round if I don't drink the stuff? Well? I got fat the old-fashioned way. I eat too much.

We're stuck here for the entire summer. It's loserville! Let's start "the most boring town" contest. I bet there's one already on the web. Darn! Here's a "top ten tedious towns" list. We're not on it. West Fester is so boring, it's not even the most boring.

That snob only likes bottled water.

Political Parties in Rival Tree Planting Pledges

"As a communist, my great-grandfather was subjected to hatred and discrimination. As a bourgeois-conservative smoker who drives a car with an internal combustion engine I continue this tradition."

"Their water is all locally sourced."

'I carbon off-set by donating to the Conservative party.'

Yorkshire Water - "Time to take a leak Gentlemen ?"

Armstrong, I was wondering something. Go on. Our electricity keeps going out. You said the rolling blackouts are caused by overuse of air conditioning to deal with the heat. But summer is long over. The heat waves are gone. Might somebody be using global warming as an excuse to keep the power off and save money? I was framed.

Coke Dealer

"What's up with the bottled water?"