Soda Skeptic Gifts

Coke Dealer

Soda! So many useless calories! Oh? You're wondering why I'm still round if I don't drink the stuff? Well? I got fat the old-fashioned way. I eat too much.

"Diet soda?! Never touch the stuff! It's horrible for your health!"

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

The Alpha Seltzer

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"Do you have anything on the menu without maple syrup on it?"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? "Death of a Salesman." Adapted to a fly, of course.

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

Energy Drinks

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

"I didn't think our breakup would leave you so crushed."

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'