Juice Skeptic Gifts

'How can I be sure I'm getting 100 pure orange juice?' - 'Buy an orange.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Gullib-Os

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

'I could have had a V-8!'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'I could have had a V-8!'

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

Lemonade Survey

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."