Juice Fanatic Gifts

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'I could have had a V-8!'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'I could have had a V-8!'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

All work and no play makes jack a dough boy.

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

Lemonade Survey

Diet Sugar House.

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"Brian's in the kitchen doing some blind baking."

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

'I'm afraid I have bad news for you. That sweet tooth has got to come out.'

How can I ensure I'm getting 100 orange juice? Buy an orange!

'Little Miss Muffet 2009'

A tiny donkey with coffee, juice and pastries is at the door! Ah, the breakfast "burrito"!