Juice Aficionados Gifts

'I could have had a V-8!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Vodka

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Roller Coasters

'I could have had a V-8!'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."