Juice Lover Gifts

Bar Bar

"I'm cutting you off, pal. You've had enough Snapple."

We get apple juice, tomato juice and grape juice from these plants. What about milk? We get that from udder sources.

A Good Batch.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'Joe has been partying hard!'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

My friend, Ernie, the documentary filmmaker, is producing a series about beverages. One film follows a man's search for the perfect lager. The working title is "The Beer Hunter." He found a group of young women in high school who are fantastic baristas. "Bean Girls." Espresso. Another movie will uncover animosity in the orange juice business. Maybe I should call it "Pulp Friction." And he's examining vineyards and winemakers all over the globe. I'll call the film "Planet of the Grapes"!

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"I'm addicted to water."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

Hotel mini-bar.

"Brian's considering the optics."

'I could have had a V-8!'

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

Lemonade Survey

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

"I rescued him from a tree four years ago — still remembers me."

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think I know where you're going with this: Yes, he was talking about happy hour.

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"What wine goes best with vodka?"