Juice Junkie Gifts

Fruit Mart: Closing down, going into liquidiser.

"I'm stocking up on orange juice because I can't afford a Florida vacation."

"If we want a realistic strawberry flavour we'll need to add more salicyaldehide and hydrobenzoic acid."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'These are job perks.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Fast Food Menu Selections

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

'I could have had a V-8!'

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'At least he's honest.'

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.