Visiting A Maternity Ward Gifts

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Barbeque Casualty.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Being Serenading in Casualty

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Hospital Departments

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

In the club.

Mistaken identity.

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"So what brings you in today?"

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"Triple whammy."