Maternity Ward Observer Gifts

Breakout at the Women's Prison Maternity Ward

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'Long shift?'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"I need a more interactive you."

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'The medical society says yes, the hospital says maybe and his lawyer says no.'

None O' Your Larks

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

'Now watch carefully. You can learn from my mistakes.'

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

"So! Who's the father?"

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

"Those bullet holes are something new, aren't they?"

A heart flies out during an operation.

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

TV on demand

'His condition appears to imitate the stock market...good, good days...bad, bad days.'

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Where's Waldo Jr.?"