Newborn Observers Gifts

'Ted thinks he looks like his side of the family, but I don't see it.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'Long shift?'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

A couple with a new baby

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

"Oh crap, my mood ring!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

A spider meal prepping

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

'Congratulations! It's one of the beautiful people!'

'Now watch carefully. You can learn from my mistakes.'

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

Baby Mums.

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

'His condition appears to imitate the stock market...good, good days...bad, bad days.'

"Looks like it's someone's birthday...!"

I'm Going For A Job As A Coat Hangar.

"Of course what else would it be?"