Maternity Ward Veteran Gifts

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"The president is awarding the Medal of Honor to 24 Army veterans...whose heroism and gallantry were overlooked because of their race or ethnicity."

Veterans Day '20

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'It's Mrs. O'Hara...the one whose due date was 37 days ago...she's angry.'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

Monument To The General/Soldier Monument

'I had a good day. Raised everybody's blood pressure.'

'How long have you two been married?'

'Oh, boy - stereo!'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"You're a veteran? In which wars did you serve?"

'These days,' she says, 'nothing gets a rise out of him.'

'I could have sworn I put the Waterloo battle plan in here.'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Remembering All The American Idols.

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"It's from Private Ryan...Wish you were here."