Visiting A Maternity Ward T-Shirts

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Barbeque Casualty.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Being Serenading in Casualty

Batman's Baby

"Hey, I got you a beautiful orchid to cheer you up until it turns into just a stick protruding from dirt."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

The Elephant in the Womb

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Hospital Departments

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

Clown Delivering Babies.

In the club.

"So what brings you in today?"

Mistaken identity.

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.