Vision Connoisseur Gifts

'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Film Lovers.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

The latest in Eyewear.

Time Machine Collision.

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

'Now watch our sales increase.'

Jack Nicholson

Satis Factory Tour

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

'I asked for a report on the long and short of it, Henderson - This only addresses the breadth and depth.'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

Roger Moore

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

You talking to me?

Ennio Morricone RIP