Quality Connoisseur Gifts

Satis Factory Tour

Acme Pen Co -"If they don't work, just toss 'em in the bin"

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

Bookworm Sleepover

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Idle' Home Exhibition

The latest in Eyewear.

S**t Threw a Goose

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Second aid

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"They've got insulation to die for!"

Moliere

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Bleak House

C Day Lewis.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Charles Dickens.

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

"You're stealing the blanket."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

A railway station covered in advertising.

'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.