Comparison Connoisseur Gifts

Apples and oranges

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

PODs Venn Diagram

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

J. Parry Clockmaker

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

"Chucky says he can buy and sell me."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."