Comparison Connoisseur T-Shirts

Apples and oranges

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Satis Factory Tour

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

PODs Venn Diagram

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

J. Parry Clockmaker

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"Chucky says he can buy and sell me."

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

Vandalism at the Graffiti Art Museum

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."