Cost Comparison Connoisseur T-Shirts

Petrol Prices: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'I forgot the question.'

Moliere

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

I liked the book better than the movie, but not as much as the "Dateline." "20/20," or "Primetime Live" specials.

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

Employee Benefits

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

"Don't worry, she's still alcohol aware."

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

"Here's a blues number I wrote anout paying my dues with the cash back I got on my platinum card."

"Bargain hunters!"

Man and dog hang their tongues out in the wind while driving.

Apples and oranges

The Sequels

"The only calls not dropped are to your tech support."