Competition Connoisseur Gifts

"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"

Adversarial Competition Training

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'World's HEAVIEST Man'

"Chucky says he can buy and sell me."

"I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock, rock'."

Pole Jumping Collision

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

"He's an abstract artist."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

First Prize!

"It's called 'Sold'."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Big Guys vs Little Guys

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

"Who's the artist?"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Fascinator

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

Eight puns

'Our competition is quite energetic.'

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'