Competition Connoisseur Gifts

"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"

Adversarial Competition Training

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'World's HEAVIEST Man'

"Chucky says he can buy and sell me."

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

"I'm tired of playing 'Rock, rock, rock'."

Pole Jumping Collision

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"No party - it's for testing the atom smasher."

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

First Prize!

"It's called 'Sold'."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Big Guys vs Little Guys

"Who's the artist?"

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Eight puns

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

Fascinator

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.