Court Connoisseur Gifts

'In the future, let's go with 'the court is now in session' rather than 'let's get ready to rumble'.'

Anthony Kennedy

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"He's not much at tennis, but pretty good at jumping the net."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

Yawning barristers in court

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

A stripe of stockbrokers

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"I see you're really adapting to the corporate jungle."

'We'll have to clean that out immediately... there's nothing dirtier than a lawyer bite.'

'Nobody seems to bother me anymore since I won this.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

"I bill four hundred dollars an hour and I don't believe you'd be comfortable paying anything less."

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

'The stupidity of the defendant's actions was directly proportional to the number of people watching him.'

"You would rather let a guilty man go free than punish an innocent one? How do you figure that?"

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"I'm not going to make excuses. They were very tough today. They wanted this one more than we did, and they deserved to win."

"Not guilty." "My client's statement does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hodal, Brown McClintock, and Stoddard."

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'Innocent Mr Wilks? I'll be the judge of that.'