Courtly Connoisseur Gifts

'Hmmm...the aroma of tennis balls? Hard court, or clay?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

Yawning barristers in court

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Nobody seems to bother me anymore since I won this.'

'We'll have to clean that out immediately... there's nothing dirtier than a lawyer bite.'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

Duchess

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

"I bill four hundred dollars an hour and I don't believe you'd be comfortable paying anything less."

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

'Innocent Mr Wilks? I'll be the judge of that.'

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

Wildlife Refuge

'The stupidity of the defendant's actions was directly proportional to the number of people watching him.'