Courtly Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Hmmm...the aroma of tennis balls? Hard court, or clay?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

Yawning barristers in court

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Bill Bailey

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

'Nobody seems to bother me anymore since I won this.'

Duchess

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'We'll have to clean that out immediately... there's nothing dirtier than a lawyer bite.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Do you have an appointment?'

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

"I bill four hundred dollars an hour and I don't believe you'd be comfortable paying anything less."

"Not guilty." "My client's statement does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Hodal, Brown McClintock, and Stoddard."

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

Judge has work boxes labeled Sustained and Overruled.

"I'm not going to make excuses. They were very tough today. They wanted this one more than we did, and they deserved to win."

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

Blue wine