Courtesy Connoisseur Gifts

'Your horse seems a little impatient, sir! Pray go first!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Wifi in Hell

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hats and Food

Yummy Mummies

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"He's an abstract artist."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

The Kali De Milo.

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

"I suffered a stroke."

Chinese History: Redwash

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Bats with blankets.

What's the insect de jour?

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"It's called 'Sold'."

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Who's a cutey?

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."