Vintage Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

The First Odd Couple

"That was really funny, Gramps, what was it called?"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

The Enemy

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

'Morcambe and Wise.'

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"I suggest you get off your tuffet more, and eat less curds and whey, Miss Muffet."

Thatcher's child