Vintage Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

The First Odd Couple

W.C. Fields

"That was really funny, Gramps, what was it called?"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

Peter Cook

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

The Enemy

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

W.C.Fields

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

'Morcambe and Wise.'