Vintage Comedy Appreciator Gifts

One must steel themselves for Brobdingnagian magnification.

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

All-Verbal Westerns

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"A haand gel...!?"

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

Moulin Rouge Security

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.