Vintage Comic Appreciator Gifts

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Though both are long retired, his faithful Indian companion continues to dispense sage advice to an increasingly skeptical masked man.

"First of all, I would like to express my gratefulness to all those wonderful ancestors of mine who helped to make this glorious day possible."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

William Tweed - Beyond the Reach of the Law

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

"Now do you believe me?"

Self-Esteem Clinic.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

"You're a very intelligent little woman my dear."

"I've got pride but no shame."

"So...What's your excuse for being late today?"

'S**t!'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

The Height of Impudence.

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

"Do we have any candy?"

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

Cabman, unhappy with his fare, accuses a lady's husband of not being a gentleman