Vintage Humor Admirer Gifts

Learning the Polka

"I know, dear - but there's such a thing as carrying office politics too far."

A Hint.

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

The Enemy

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."