Vintage Humor Admirer Gifts

Learning the Polka

"I know, dear - but there's such a thing as carrying office politics too far."

A Hint.

'Don't tell the Fuhrer I filled the war head with jellybabies, you know upset he gets.'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

Peter Cook

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

W.C. Fields

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

The Enemy