Vintage Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Applied Science.

A Gentleman is Harrased by Street Children.

Butler asking if the meat is too hard

'Hm, single female w/ wedding dress seeks serious relationship...'

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Peter Cook

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

The Enemy

W.C. Fields