Vintage Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

Applied Science.

A Gentleman is Harrased by Street Children.

Butler asking if the meat is too hard

'Hm, single female w/ wedding dress seeks serious relationship...'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

The Enemy

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses