Vintage Comedy Fan Gifts

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'The problem is he's 98.6...It's his age.'

"Instant? In my day they used to make it from scratch."

"I said, can I borrow one of your pistols?"

LOST & FOUND, 'Where did you last see your club?'

"She's been round the block a few times, I tell you!!"

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

'You won't see me on one of those hybrid models.'

Wilfrid Brambell

Nostradamus and his visions of our times.

'Psst, Margie -- Your slip is showing!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Are you SURE this is how Jerry Lewis got started?'

Man states that he has a sweepstake at his club but his wife thinks he means someone who is a sweep

Lady escorted home by police

Trump - The curly years

"He'll never share the road with a bicycle."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Peter Cook

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."