Retro Comedy Fan Gifts

"Hold the line a minute, dear – I'm trying to think what I have on my mind."

"Can Greg come out and play ball with the Feds?"

'Hey you two, take that outside'

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Drive in movies.

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."

'Wait till the big dumb nut gets home and finds out he's got a wig.'

Trump to Build Wall

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Moon Line UP

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"Cap'n crunches"