Retro Humor Fans Gifts

Pirate: 'Wow! what's this one?' Assistant: 'It's the new Swiss army model.'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

"She would fall into a soft spot."

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Trump to Build Wall

W.C. Fields

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

How We Know You're Getting Old

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

This problem began in the 1950's...

"When was this license issued?"

"Cap'n crunches"

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."