Retro Humor Fan Gifts

'I haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

'Let's barbeque tonight.'

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Hello?..We ordered a mini-cab from you...it should have been here half an hour ago!'

Outhouse or Telephone Booth

"He's on a motorcycle!"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

"Ever feel you're in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

'We're hunters and gatherers but tonight we decided to eat out.'

'Don't tel me you've got one of your headaches again.'

"Who are you calling plug-ugly?" (2 Triceratops)

Empty window display selling air guitars.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Trump to Build Wall

This might sting a little.

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. VII. - Hotels are quite full.

Improved costume for the Metropolitan Police in the great heat of 1893

Gross Outrage.

"Perhaps I'm not hearing you right, stranger. Did you just call me 'cupcake'?"

"Cap'n crunches"

"Mrs. Slovnik, we represent the whole forth floor."

"If you just used your eyes you'd see plenty of men!"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"It's overdosed on Parakeetamol."