Retro Humor Aficionado Gifts

Pistols at dawn.

'Are you coming on to me?' (woman has bump on her head where man has hit her with his club.)

"Your wife is seriously ill, but I haven't told her, so she may be down later to make you tea."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

The Enemy

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

Trump to Build Wall

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"My, it feels good to sit down."

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Its a poor heart that never rejoices