Retro Humor Appreciator Gifts

'How do you send text messages?'

W.C. Fields

'The mobile phone comes free.'

July25, 1979: Shirley Splatz experiences the downside to her first, 'Dress Down Day'.

"Back then, they didn't have refrigerators to hang pictures on."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Yours is adjustable?"

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"My, it feels good to sit down."

Trump to Build Wall

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

'I envisioned something more robust'

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"When was this license issued?"