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Pirate: 'Wow! what's this one?' Assistant: 'It's the new Swiss army model.'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

"She would fall into a soft spot."

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Trump to Build Wall

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

1839: Rare photograph of wagons on the 'Organ Trail.'

"Hurry up with that cork!"

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

How We Know You're Getting Old

"Cap'n crunches"

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

Pistols at dawn.