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"Hatless" Bill Johnson

How We Know You're Getting Old

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Trump to Build Wall

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"Cap'n crunches"

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'Actually, my Dad never learned to talk - My Mom's a ventriloquist.'

Pistols at dawn.

'There's no decent comedy on TV nowadays. Why don't they bring back Mr Blobby?'

Empty window display selling air guitars.

Gross Outrage.

'It was a Christmas present from last year. They're cute when they're puppies.'

'Have you seen two men, messy looking, no shirts? They just escaped from the dungeon.'

'Let's barbeque tonight.'

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether